Remembering and Trying To Understand

Here's a photo I took the other morning on my way to a Spanish Village Board Meeting. I think the patio is so pretty, particularly in the early morning. I enjoy getting here early. I like staying late, too, in the summer when the days are longer. Of course, now they're getting shorter. I use to feel so distressed about the end of daylight savings until a friend pointed out that the shortest day of the year is December 21 and by the end of January the days begin to be noticeably longer. So really, in the overall scheme, the short days aren't that many.

Today was spent on various tasks connected with my role as Secretary. There's still more to do, but I've accomplished the most pressing tasks. I'll go on with them again later today and Friday. Tomorrow night is Fourth Thursday again. It seems we just had one. Anyway, Philip and I will be here in the patio between our two studios. Now that it gets dark so much earlier, I think I have to bring out an extension cord and a lamp so that we can sit outside. I always like to keep busy, so I'll need light to work by.

First I work on Spanish Village business. Then I work on a necklace. Then I work on my artist's statement for my website, then I do a little etching. It seems to be easier than just working on the same task for hours on end. Sometimes if I get on a roll, I can continue in one direction, but not always.

Yesterday was the third anniversary of my husband's death. I spent the day at home, working on my Dia de los Muertos project among other things. The idea of the holiday is to welcome the dead back on November 1 if the person died as a child or otherwise on November 2 and to keep their visit a happy one. In Mexico and the Philippines, where the celebrations take place, they celebrate death as the beginning of a better life, not as the end. And altars are created to show the visiting spirit where to return.

So with this in mind, I plan to take a group of items that belonged to my husband and put them in a desk drawer along with his photo and some coupons for KFC, one of his favorite restaurants. These items will be a remembrance and a celebration of his life, things he accomplished and things he loved. In addition, on the group altar at the show, we will each place a letter. I'm working on my letter now. It's not finished, but I think it's a good task to pursue. In fact, I can see writing more than just one. I think it can help me move on to a new place in my life.

Of course, I have other friends and relatives who have died over the years, as does everyone. But for me, I suppose, my husband becomes a symbol of all those people: my grandparents, my best friend, co-workers, famous people I could relate to, pets. Somehow it seems easier to concentrate my thoughts on him, to attempt to understand death, as much as we can, through my experience with his life and death.

Death is an important subject in that as artists I think we dream of defeating death on some level by leaving our artwork behind to represent us. Many people create children, and they are something we leave behind, but many artist don't have children to carry on their legacy. Those of us who don't are more driven, perhaps, to create a lasting memorial of our lives.